In Nigeria and beyond, laws may promise equality, but invisible cultural expectations still decide how far women can lead.
I recently came across a video that left me both amused and unsettled. Village elders in my community had gathered to debate a question they considered pressing: should married women be allowed to wear trousers? At first, the absurdity was comical. I laughed, shaking my head at how something as ordinary as clothing could command such serious attention. But the longer I thought about it, the clearer it became. That conversation was not about clothing at all. It was about control.
It revealed a deeper truth that extends far beyond trousers: cultural norms and mindsets still dictate what women can or cannot do, even when the law says otherwise.
The paradox of progress
In practise gender equality cannot advance where there are deeply rooted traditions.
Globally, women hold only 27.2% of parliamentary seats Inter- Parliamentary,Union 2025. In Sub-Saharan Africa, the region average is also about 27% (IPU,2025). In Nigeria, the numbers are bleaker still with 4.47% women in National parliament.
The corporate world reflects a similar gap: women hold only about 28.2% of managerial positions worldwide(UN Women,2023)). That means three out of every four decision-making seats are still occupied by men, and three out of every four decisions are therefore filtered through a male lens. These are proof of a quieter violence: the cultural chokehold that squeezes women out of power before they even step forward.
The invisible rules
A debate about trousers is not laughable, it is lethal. If elders can decide what women wear, they can decide what women say. If they can silence clothing, they can silence voices. Power is not lost in constitutions; it is stolen in whispers, jokes, and “traditions” that keep women small. These invisible rules were passed down in childhood.
A boy may be praised for being outspoken; a girl is reminded to be polite. A young man’s ambition is admired; a young woman’s ambition is questioned: Who will marry her?A boy’s mistakes are framed as lessons; a girl’s mistakes are treated as warnings.
These lessons do not appear in textbooks, but they shape futures as powerfully as any curriculum.
Signs of change
But culture is not immovable. Change is already underway.
I see it in young women who wear what they choose, who speak with confidence, and refuse to let marital status define ambition. I see it in mothers who encourage daughters to speak up, in teachers who give equal weight to girls ‘s opinions, in women who mentor others, contest council seats, and challenge stereotypes. Each refusal to disappear reshapes what the next generation believes is possible.
We have seen glimpses of this change at the national level too. When women like Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala rose to lead the World Trade Organization (WTO, 2021), or when Amina Mohammed became Deputy Secretary-General of the United Nations (UN,2017), Nigerian girls saw what leadership beyond boundaries could look like. Visibility breeds possibility.
Rewriting leadership
Leadership is about presence. It is about daring to exist fully and presence is precisely what culture tries to contain.
Too often, women are expected to lead while walking an impossible line: strong but not “too strong,” ambitious but not “too ambitious,” visible but not “too visible.” And yet, leadership demands precisely those qualities. It demands strength, visibility, and ambition.
That is why the work ahead is not only to pass policies, but to transform mindsets in homes, schools, workplaces, and communities. Until culture changes, women’s leadership will remain conditional, permitted only when it fits within boundaries drawn by others. Laws may guarantee rights, but laws alone cannot make space for women to breathe, to decide, to lead without apology. That requires dismantling the invisible rules enforced in homes, schools, workplaces, and even in whispered conversations under the village tree.
And perhaps, one day, the conversation in my village will not be about what a woman wears, but the vision she carries, the opportunities she creates, and the future she dares to shape. That will be the real marker of progress not in constitutions alone, but in the freedom to lead without apology.
About the Author
Ezeja Charity is a Program Manager, civic advocate, creative, and social impact strategist passionate about using creative arts to advance inclusive governance and social transformation.
She combines project management expertise with artistic activism to amplify marginalized voices and deepen youth civic engagement. An alumna of the Building Bridges Project by SimplyPoetry Foundation and the POWERHER Mentorship Program by NAF Women’s Foundation, Charity convenes the Bridging Divides Workshop, fostering cross-cultural dialogue through storytelling, poetry, and artistic expression.
She currently serves as a Youth Advisory Board Member and Ambassador at Street Project Foundation, where she previously led the ARTvocacy movement as the first female lead, championing campaigns on gender-based violence, youth political participation, and police reform.
A COI Fellow under Yiaga Africa and a member of the Young Urban Woman Movement, she continues to advocate for gender justice and economic equity through art, poetry, and activism.
